Mastering Leadership

With over 15 years of experience in HR, I understand how difficult it is for us to communicate and even more challenging to handle situations involving holding grudges. Early in my career, when the term “leader” was not yet popular and “manager” was the common term in corporations, I witnessed a wide range of team dynamics. Back then, managers were less aware of emotional intelligence and differences, and learning to lead was often a process of trial and error.

Today, we have easy access to knowledge. If we’re interested in a topic, we can learn about it on our own without needing universities or lectures. All it takes is a bit of curiosity and discipline. Despite the abundance of information and numerous publications on leadership, we often overlook the crucial aspect of managing our emotions and not holding grudges.

To me, being a leader is akin to teaching a teenager how to drive. Initially, you need to trust them, monitor their progress closely, and teach them the basics. Over time, as they become more confident, you feel more at ease, no longer gripping the handles or pressing imaginary brakes. However, this learning process involves many conversations, the exchange of much information, and dealing with various emotions. This raises the question: how do we avoid holding grudges during this journey? How do we avoid taking things personally?

Certain defense mechanisms develop throughout our lives. As a society, we are continuously evolving, but each culture progresses at its own pace. In my daily work with leaders, I see how hard it is for them to handle criticism, even when it’s constructive. They often believe that respect comes from their position rather than from their hard work. They may be resistant to others’ suggestions, thinking they know best. This mindset leads to stagnation – both personally and organizationally.

Much is said about organizational culture. Some leaders, although they frequently use the term, do not fully understand or define it. Culture is essentially how we do things: our values, beliefs, norms, rules, traditions, atmosphere, communication, and, most importantly, leadership styles. If you, as a leader, are not achieving success in managing and motivating people, you should reflect on the reasons why. Often, the issue lies within yourself. You accepted the role and its significant responsibilities. It’s not an easy role, and I’ve seen people step down to become experts instead.

Not holding grudges is crucial in our dynamic and ever-changing world. Being open to feedback, accepting it, and working on it will enhance your self-awareness and help you break out of this cycle. If you hear that something could be done better, don’t take offense or look for faults in the person giving you that feedback. Instead, work on improving yourself. This is the first step to becoming a valuable leader, open to suggestions and changes, and adaptable to the world and its constant evolution.

Can you have constructive conversations with people even after receiving negative feedback? This is a vital question to ask yourself and continue answering throughout your leadership journey.

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